Uno, Two, Trois

Even though it was a necessity that I travelled to the USA before my visa expires later this year, it was also a much needed time away from the "Elu P" and "Balablu" madness in Nigeria due to the just concluded presidential election at the time.

Surprisingly, I didn't have a list of preplanned activities lined up, which is my usual M.O cause I love "maximizing" every single day while I'm on vacation. I however decided that this time, I'd make a conscious effort to just REST. 

Waking up almost everyday to only shower, order food via Door Dash or Uber Eats, binge shows and movies (with superfast unlimited WiFi of course), and then go back to sleep was the definition of "vacation" I didn't know I needed. I literally didn't leave the apartment until my friend got back from Dallas (I stayed at her place in San Francisco) a few days after I arrived and dragged my butt off the bed.

So this write up isn't about all the ways I stuffed myself with food (sadly) or the exciting activities I engaged in.

This post will focus on, wait for it - the opposite sex. 

Didn't see that coming, did you? Well, neither did I.

The Italian

Out of boredom (and following bad advice from one of my friends - you know yourself), I signed up on Bumble a few days after I arrived in San Francisco, and swiped right on a couple of men folk.

I was matched with an Italian-American and we had a brief chat and then a voice call.

We eventually switched to video call and may I say he looked waaaay cuter then he did in pictures. It didn't help that he kept throwing in a few Italian sentences here and there during our conversation. If you know me, you know I'm a sucker for Italian and Spanish.

Fast forward to two hours or so later, that spark ended as quickly as it started, so did my Bumble account, but it was fun while it lasted. No need starting what we can't finish, biko.

The Black American

Now this dude and I "met" in an unusual way - I was a FedEx customer and he was attending to me as the Store Manager. But the way we immediately hit it off? It was like we had known each other for months. 

We literally talked about every and anything in the space of 30 minutes - from work, to ancestry (he's got a Nigerian bloodline apparently), to relationships, to politics - and the vibe was pretty...interesting. 

My friend couldn't help but ask if he was single and she immediately took on the role of cupid - not like I was complaining.

Long story short, we exchanged contacts and yeah, that was it. Don't hold your breath for any updates though cause you'd most likely be disappointed. Just saying. 

Side note: I met a white American too. He came over to my friend's apartment to visit her landlord and I couldn't ignore the fact that he kept staring at me like I was some work of art (I mean I am, but still) He finally broke the silence by complimenting my hair and then we got talking. A few minutes into our conversation, he held my hand and asked me to be his girlfriend. I jokingly accepted cause he's obviously a joker. 

Anyway, I was in a relationship with him for about an hour - probably the shortest relationship in the history of relationships. 

The French 

I was at the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train station racking my brain on how to buy a Clipper card because the vending machine kept failing. Luckily, (because misery needs company) I spotted a French man going through the same challenge. So we teamed up and voilà! We figured it out eventually.

He happened to be in San Francisco on a business trip and was leaving the next day. So he offered to take me out for dinner that night.

As the foodie that I am, I couldn't pass on free food now, could I? Even though I was lowkey praying to God as he picked me up from the apartment that he wasn't a serial killer that would drive me to my doom. I've watched way too many movies and documentaries to not be paranoid. 

Thank God cause as you must've figured, I'm still alive typing this blog post, plus dinner was exquisite! Let me not even get started on the mouthwatering tiramisu I had for dessert. Foodgasm! 

And for once, I actually ordered a glass of wine with my dish. Bougie, I know. (Fun fact: The slang "bougie" was coined from the French word "bourgeois", a term that originally refers to a member of the middle/upper-middle class in France) 

Oh well, too bad he's not my type. Who knows where that night would've taken me. Paris, perhaps. 

-------------

Incase you're wondering, I'm sha back in Lagos and I'm still single. But these encounters reminded me of how there are so many opportunities to be open-minded, dip your hands into uncharted waters, meet someone completely new and willingly invite them into your space, even if it's for a little while.

I guess it's taking me much longer than usual because from experience, I've realized how much I thrive in my own company, which makes it easier for me to soak up the fact that being "alone" doesn't mean that I am "lonely". 

It's not like I don't love being around people, or better still, cuddling. But I absolutely love my own space and time - perhaps a bit too much. 

Maybe (or certainly), there's some deep rooted reason behind why I am the way I am, which I  should make a conscious effort to dig into. But like everyone else, this somewhat-cynical-self-sabotaging-romantic is still a work in progress. 

So have a little faith in me, will ya?

The More You Know...

One thing about me is that I am not afraid to ask questions.

When I'm not sure about something someone said, I ask them to repeat themselves. 

If I can't seem to find my way to a certain location, I don't hesitate to ask someone on the road for directions (especially when Google Maps is acting a fool)

If I need more information on a situation, I ask whoever is involved to explain further. 

I've been told I'm like a dog with a bone, and I couldn't agree more. That's because I believe that asking several questions doesn't necessarily mean you're incessant and certainly doesn't mean you're stupid - in most cases.  

Quite contrary, the more you ask, the more you know. And the more you know, the wiser you become. 

However, the one aspect that I had to learn the hard way not to always ask questions is when it comes to closure. I've gotten burnt a couple of times just because I wanted to understand why someone did something that hurt me. And more than half of the time, I didn't get the answers I wanted or thought I needed. 

Some years ago, a friend of mine told me that she didn't believe in closure, and she still doesn't. According to her, not everyone needs to know why their relationship has ended - whether it's romantic or platonic. Sometimes, just allowing the relationship fizzle out and letting go without a one-on-one conversation about the "what, why or who" is the best option for both parties. At the time, it may seem like only one party is benefiting from this, but in the long run, the other party would too.

It took me a while to agree with her opinion, seeing as I've always been big on communication irrespective of how uncomfortable the case might be. But as the years went by and following more discussions with her and my own personal experiences, I realized that she's kinda sorta right. 

The ironic thing about "closure" is that most times it "opens" up new wounds. What if the reason the person isn't your friend or significant other anymore hurts more than the fact that the person just isn't? 

Ask yourself if you would be able to handle that. If you can, then why not? Give it a shot. 

I, on the other hand have learnt to balance when to and when not to bother about getting closure. Some people and cases are worth the emotional and mental courage. But others? Not so much. 

Because sometimes, you don't get closure. You just move on. And honestly, I'd rather stick with the latter. 

Wouldn't you too?

ENDURE!

After 8 months and 10 days, the Wit is back! Let's get to it, shall we?

A lot has happened in my life since before the year began, one of which was my decision to really (emphasis on "really") kick off on my fitness journey. This was after I figured out from numerous research (I can Google for Africa) that I hadn't been doing the right type of home workout for my body type (I'm what they call 'skinny fat', incase you're wondering) and I really needed some professional guidance. I also realized how often I had to catch my breath anytime I walked up the stairs. Anyone who knows me immediately assumes I'm fit cause of my physique. The irony, seeing as I never even participated in sports while I was in school. (My P.H.E teachers really thought I had it in me. But no matter how much they tried to make it manifest, ko le werk.)

Guess it was about time I started taking my physical health way more seriously. Wouldn't want my family and loved ones to hear "stories that touch" one random day just because I didn't take this key step to prevent that.
Plus, I now own a small business (thank God for that) and work remotely, which means that I have a very flexible schedule. So why not throw in a couple of gym sessions on a weekly basis?

On the 30th September, 2021, I took the very first step, and that was heading straight to iFitness Gym in Surulere, Lagos, closing my eyes and paying for a quarterly subscription, which I must say isn't as expensive as I thought it'd be. 
After I got a debit alert and a welcome email from the gym, I knew there was no turning back and frankly, it felt really good. Before the euphoria wore off, I made sure I resumed the very next day.

Luckily for me, I picked arguably THE best trainer in this particular gym, Tope Adenubi, who made me understand my body better, what I needed to do to achieve my fitness goals, and constantly pushed me to break my own personal records. As weeks went by, she became much more than just a trainer to me, but also a friend. My workout sessions slowly morphed into 'therapy sessions' and even though I know I'd be drained after each one, I lowkey look forward to them every week.

I'm personally hard on myself and somewhat of a perfectionist, so whenever I look in the mirror, I still feel like there isn't any significant improvement. But then Tope (aka my cheerleader) a couple of gym buddies and friends, especially folks who I've not seen in a while, say otherwise, and that encourages me to keep going till I too can see these improvements myself.

Two weeks ago, I was still basking in my new found 'love-hate relationship' with the gym when Tope told me out of the blues that she had resigned from iFitness to further her career in Abu Dhabi. I was and still am super stoked for her of course, because she more than deserves it. But knowing that she won't be there to guide me and cheer me on as she shouts "Endure! Endure!!" during those crazy HIIT and circuit training sessions, made me somewhat discouraged to say the least. However, it's my personal journey and I shouldn't allow setbacks to literally set me back. Plus, she helped rejuvenate my willpower by referring another trainer to me, who so far, so good, is doing a great job.

So here I am, still lifting weights (who would've thought) and busting my ass with intense leg (my personal fave), upper body, and ab workouts four to five times a week, trying my absolute best to eat healthier (food, as you know, is my major kryptonite) and constantly reminding myself that consistency, not perfection, is the goal.

Let's just say it's been an intense 9 months of my life and I'm absolutely loving it.
Hopefully, I'll keep at this till I'm old and grey - fingers tightly crossed.

Progress pictures coming soonish...or maybe not. We'll see. 

I Feel It

I N T U I T I O N  - a very powerful survival tool that is often ignored, unharnessed, and downplayed. 

Okay, here's the backstory that led to this blog post. It's funny cause I've been wondering what next to write about and this inspiration just came to me in a random moment but at just the right time. 

Anyone who really knows me knows how much I love Jon Bellion. I mean, he's an artiste in his prime. Am I right, or am I RIGHT?

But he'd been under the radar for over a year - no new songs, no social media posts - dude was pretty much a ghost. And then out of nowhere, over two months ago, he blows our minds (myself and other die hard fans) with a teaser of a new upcoming track featuring Burna Boy. 

Yep. I was way over-the-moon-ecstatic (two of my absolute favourite artistes in one track? Heck YES!) and of course I added the release date to my calendar with the bunch of other reminders on there. (Sigh. You should see my calendar btw. It's like a colorful art piece - color coded appointments scheduled here and there. Blame the "OCD" in me) 

This morning, I was doing some house chores and as usual, I turned on some music to make the task less daunting. I hadn't listened to Jon's new track in a while so I decided to put it on replay, yet again. 

The thing is, the lyrics never really resonated with me the first 20 plus times I listened to it the day the song was released. Maybe it's because I couldn't 'really' relate at the time. However, today I connected with each line and Burna's verse really hit the nail on the head. 

You know when you feel that something's off but you don't have the facts to prove it so you brush off that feeling? And then "GBAM!" It comes back and bites you in the ass cause you didn't adhere to your instinct or intuition sooner. 

Bummer, I know. That's me more often than not. And I'm sure that's probably you too. 

I've recently been having that gut feeling telling me to take steps back in an endeavour I've been embarking on, which has been unconsciously zapping quite a lot of my emotional and mental energy. As usual, my coconut head has been adamant about it. But listening to this track at that very moment felt like my instincts coming back to remind me through a means I connect with the most - music. 

I know what you're thinking, "It's not that deep". Lol, well, to me it is. Cause these thoughts often misread as 'overthinking' save me from a lot of drama in the long run. Better safe than sorry, no? 

Not to say that I don't overthink sometimes. Cause mehn, do I OVERTHINK! But I'm learning how to sift the 'overthinking' from the 'survival instincts' and grab on to the latter. 

Anyway, if you're reading this and you get where my head is at, here's a little advice from little 30 year old me: 

99.9% of the time bruh, you're not in over your head. And sis, it ain't your hormones. Listen to your damn instincts!

Well, 99.9% is a stretch, but you get my drift. 

BTW, If you haven't listened to Jon's latest track, 'I Feel It', then you should. Download it, play it, connect with it, then thank me later. 

You're welcome 😊

I Met Someone

I met someone

He's cute

Tall, charming, considerate

But he doesn't 'get' me the way I hoped he would 

I guess I don't get him either 

Oh, well 

I met someone

He's witty

We love the same things, laugh at the same jokes 

But he's not interested in a relationship and he's not sure when he'll be

I know, typical 

I met someone

He's ambitious

Doing quite well for himself

He tours the world, owns businesses and such

But he's not over his ex-girlfriend

Yep, that sucks 

I met someone

He's just like me

We both want something more but we are taking things slow

Figuring things out - about ourselves, about each other

Steady getting to that destination, whenever that will be 

Hopefully, some day I'll look back and say, 

"I met someone...

And he was the one."

Talk Thirty To Me

My 30th birthday was 42 days ago, so yes, this post is looooooong overdue.

Sigh. I've legit got the BEST humans in my corner. For one, I had never had a surprise birthday dinner party before, and my family and close friends threw one for me - EFFORTLESSLY. 

To be honest, I still get overwhelmed with emotions when I think about it *happy tear drop*

Not forgetting to add that I took a much deserved birthday trip to Seychelles and of course, it was AH-MAZING to say the least!

Side note: I went all out and had three photo-shoots, two of which featured my 'twin niece' (she turned 1 on my birthday!), and my two sisters-in-law, who also turn 30 this year. Trust me, the paparazzi wasn't the initial plan but it was so worth it. 

Third time's the charm. Pun intended *wink*

IG: @sammiephotomagic

IG: @instabooth_studios

IG: @chrisumebesestudios 

(P.S: one of my brothers-in-law)

This birthday was by far the best I've ever had! It left me with the hope that there are certainly much more to come, that's for sure. 

And to think I was freaking out last year cause I had just one more year to the end of my 20s. Pssssh! 

I made a firm decision in January to be more intentional about my mental health, peace of mind, and career growth. 

This required me to resign from my place of work, get certified in Digital Marketing and much to my surprise (as this wasn't entirely part of the plan), start my own Digital Marketing and Graphics Design business - @kiki.did.dat (the business name is subject to change but I guess this will do for now, yeah?)

Let's just say that right now, I feel blessed, no stress, and I am steady looking forward to the rest. (Barrrzzz! Haha!)

They say that pictures (and videos) are worth a thousand words, so I'll leave you with these. 

It's the customized menu for me! 

IG: @343degreesnorth

I ate my cake and had it!

IG: @saltlagos

A Beauty. A Spec. #NextStop #Seychelles

First thing's first. #Beachin'

What's a beach without a bikini?

 

Customized bracelet courtesy the travel agent. 

IG: @thaglobetrotters 

Cue music: The Zephyr Song #RedHotChilliPeppers #HelicopterTour

Victoria Botanical Gardens

Kicking it with Grandmaster Oogway #Sensei #KungFuPanda

Anse Major Trail #HikeMode

Servin' legs...per usual. #AnseMajorBeach

Spotted: Willy! *big grin* #IfYouKnowYouKnow

After a futile search for Shark Chutney - Seafood Pasta and Shandy to the rescue! 

#WoodenHouseCafe #RestaurantHopping

When in Seychelles... #LocalIslandFood

"Happiness is crystal clear ocean waters." #RoundIsland #Praslin

Finally ticked it off my bucket list! #Snorkelling

The sunset was all shades of breathtaking #BeauVallonBeach #Zen

Coco De Mer: Seychelles' Pride and Joy

PS: This is the female specie, which looks like a vagina.

The male specie looks like - yep, you guessed right. A penis.

#CocoDeMer101

Co-tourists Unite!

Took a little bit of Seychelles (and a couple more seashells) with me. 

#SeashellsInSeychelles

Signin' out. 

Music & Lyrics: Vol 8

It's been almost two years since I posted content on this segment, even though I've had this particular song in mind for the longest time.

The first time I heard Gravity by Sara Bareilles (I still struggle to pronounce her surname), it latched on to my melancholic side (I have my moments) and I couldn't help playing it over and over until the lyrics sank in.

And then, I fell deeper in love with it after watching Season 5, Episode 14 of So You Think You Can Dance, when two of my fave dancers in that season, Kayla and Kupono, rendered an emotional contemporary dance piece, which was choreographed by the amazing Mia Michaels. I still get goose bumps anytime I remember it. Oh, how I loved that show!

It's funny how I always imagine myself singing this song on stage at an open mic event, all caught up in my emotions while the audience is entranced by my rendition. Loool. I will most definitely write a blog post about that if it does eventually happen. #WatchThisSpace 

Anyway, here are the lyrics. You'll probably connect with them as much as I did. Read beyond the surface of the words, cause they are deep, deep...

VERSE 1:

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

CHORUS:

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
Just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

VERSE 2:

Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
And I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

*REPEAT CHORUS*

BRIDGE - my favorite part 

I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I
Can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
Keeping me, keeping me, keeping me down

You're on to me, you're on to me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long