The key word here being ‘purposely’.
This is psychological bullying in my opinion and it definitely goes beyond just body weight.
The society is becoming more conscious of body-shaming as hashtags and posts are doubling at a fast rate on social media with the aim of raising awareness.
This 'campaign' has rubbed off on many people, one of such being me...in a really good way.
Flash back to my childhood.
I come from a family of people with 'real African features' ('blame' it on my maternal grandfather).
We've got the thick (otherwise termed pomo) lips, the wide forehead, the big teeth (call us the 'Close Up Advert Family' *grins*) and of course, our 'trademark' being the large flat nose, which was the bane of my facial attributes...or so I thought.
Like come on! You had to be large AND flat??? Seriously dude...pick a struggle.
Fast forward to my teens when I learnt the skill of making fun of my nose ahead of anyone else so I could laugh at myself before anyone else did. Quite smart huh? And yes, it helped boost my confidence a notch.
There was this 'trick' I always did that cracked my classmates up. I'd mimic JayZ's facial expression in the Show Me What You Got music video, just because.
Yep. That's the one.
As you must have noticed, he and I pretty much have the same nose and lips size, so I always nailed it *shrug*
Move on further to my adolescence and I slowly lost the need to shield my insecurities about my nose because people seemed to notice it less...and so did I.
Then one day, I took a selfie, posted it on my WhatsApp story and my friend-turned-sister commented that she didn't really like the picture. I laughed and sent her another shot to advise me on whether or not it was a better choice to post instead.
Her response was, 'Your nose is too obvious in this one.'
For a second or two, I felt a little pinch.
You will expect that now, as an adult, such comments shouldn't get to me anymore, but it kinda sorta did, even though it shouldn’t have.
Don't get me wrong. My friend did not mean any harm seeing as we both laughed about it seconds afterwards. Funny enough, people make fun of her height, calves and gums but she shakes them off. (Plus she is the Queen of Clap Backs, trust me! Lol.)
But then, I asked myself, how would I have reacted if it was someone that wasn't close to me that made that statement? Would I have brushed it off, given that person a tongue lash or just walked away feeling a tad bit hurt?
You won't believe a few weeks after I actually contemplated having nose surgery.
It's hilarious cause even if I was being serious, my account balance is too measly to 'blow' on such procedure. Plus, to do it in Nigeria will be a scare.
Bottom line, the insecurity about my facial features reared its ugly head again and I started feeling self-conscious anytime someone said or did something that might or might not relate to my face.
A friend of mine once laughed and said in response to me after I pointed out how 'nicely different' I look with a smaller nose when I use filters on SnapChat,
'Everyone's nose looks better with SnapChat filters'.
It was a funny statement, but also a good way of putting my body-shaming thoughts in check.
Then I thought to myself a few days back, how ridiculous it is for me to pay attention to something that is so irrelevant to who I am as a person. And I am so freaking awesome!
I had to mentally focus on my other features that make me feel great about myself and kick the rest to the curb. I mean, He made me in His image, so if I body-shame myself it's as good as shaming the work of His hands, isn't it?
Having a big nose is NOT an abnormality. In fact, it gives me character. (Yep. I did my research *sticks tongue out*)
I mean, my all time fave, Meryl Streep has got one and she is phenomenal!
Ever wondered why Victoria Beckham doesn't smile much? Cause she doesn't like her dimples. Dimples!! Who doesn't love dimples?!
So here's a note to anyone who feels like their body shape, or height, or facial feature(s) or even complexion is not the 'right' type...the type that is 'accepted' by society.
Listen;
And to those who body-shame others, I say to you in the words of Stevie Wonder;
It was a funny statement, but also a good way of putting my body-shaming thoughts in check.
Then I thought to myself a few days back, how ridiculous it is for me to pay attention to something that is so irrelevant to who I am as a person. And I am so freaking awesome!
I had to mentally focus on my other features that make me feel great about myself and kick the rest to the curb. I mean, He made me in His image, so if I body-shame myself it's as good as shaming the work of His hands, isn't it?
Having a big nose is NOT an abnormality. In fact, it gives me character. (Yep. I did my research *sticks tongue out*)
I mean, my all time fave, Meryl Streep has got one and she is phenomenal!
Ever wondered why Victoria Beckham doesn't smile much? Cause she doesn't like her dimples. Dimples!! Who doesn't love dimples?!
So here's a note to anyone who feels like their body shape, or height, or facial feature(s) or even complexion is not the 'right' type...the type that is 'accepted' by society.
Listen;
Why even bother?
And to those who body-shame others, I say to you in the words of Stevie Wonder;
...yes, YOU :)
