Version 35.0

"There's no better time spent than time with oneself." - Ifunanya "KiKi" Mmachukwu Uzowulu, 2026 

PS: For those of you who know my English name, count that knowledge as an honour 😏

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I turned 35 yesterday. 5 years to 40 and I still don't feel the pressure to reach the "milestones" a woman my age is "expected" to have attained.

But do I want to be wealthy? Fxvk yeah!

Do I want to get married? Well, it'll be pretty shweet sharing my life with someone who marvels at my awesomeness everyday. 😌 So, yes. Affirmative.

Do I want kids? Errrr...I'm on the fence about that. I mean, I do love kids and they're naturally drawn to me, but I feel like my niblings (that means nieces and nephews, btw) are "enough" children for me, if you get my drift. 

Anyway, that's a whole other story for another day. 

So where was I? Ah yes, my birthday.

How did I spend it, you ask? 

Solo with a capital S-O-L-O. From 8am till 9:30pm.

And did I have a great time on my ones? Oh, ABSOLUTELY!

Y'all want details of my itinerary and EEEEVERYTHING I got up to that day? 

Hehe, of course you do. So here goes. 

 

KIKI'S 35TH BIRTHDAY ITINERARY 

Date: Tuesday, 4th August, 2026

⚠️ : LONG READ AHEAD

8am - 9am

Padel @ Magic Padel 🏓

Bruh, there are padel courts everywhere on the island in Lagos. And I mean EVERYwhere. 

I have been leaning towards learning tennis, so I figured giving padel a try won't be a bad idea. But then, I also wanted to learn it someplace that's a little bit "exclusive". 

I did my research and stumbled upon Magic Padel, a padel court at Federal Palace Hotel that I’d never heard anyone mention before, so I didn't hesitate to book a one-hour 1-on-1 coaching session.

Padel set from Reset Fit , a gymwear line owned by one of my jogging buddies.

My Coach, Benjamin, did an absolute great job teaching me the basics and said that I'm pretty good for someone who's never played any paddle or racket sport before. Like a friend once said, "Wetin KiKi no sabi do?" 😁

Definitely looking forward to my next session. 

Workout done - CHECK!

Endorphins kicked in - CHECK!

9:15am - 9:20am

Cold Plunge (also) @ Magic Padel 🥶

This was yet another reason why I opted for Magic Padel, cause I had no idea there was a cold plunge spot in Lagos. So this was a pleasant surprise.

Recovery - CHECK!

Trying out new "unusual" things + KiKi = 5 & 6 🤝🏽

10:30am - 12pm

Chiropractic session @ Hope Chiropractic Clinic 💆🏽‍♀️

For someone who goes to the gym 3/4 times a week, I'd been yearning to experience this for yearssss.

First, I got my x-ray done and Dr. Onuoha, who is also the owner of the clinic, recommended a few daily lifestyle changes, like sleeping on my back rather than my belly, to help fix my posture and align my spine. 

Next was the chiropractic session, a major highlight of my day. Ohhh, the joy that overwhelmed my soul with every crack was too good to put in words. I shed teeny tears of joy 🥹 

Dr. Onuoha, take your flowers, biko. 💐

A snippet of my beloved family and friends' reactions.

Typical Nigerians 😂

12:30pm to 1:30pm

Brunch @ Panu 🥙

You know there 🎶Ain't no way. Ain't NO fxvkin' way I'll treat myself and food won't be involved. 

I discovered Panu a couple of months ago - a new lifestyle cafe that serves sandwiches with panuozzo aka "panu", a traditional Italian sandwich bread that's made of pizza dough and not regular bread dough. 

I wanted the Classic Benedict panuozzo variation from their breakfast menu, but I arrived 28 minutes after their breakfast chef had closed for the day. I settled for "That Hot Chick", a buttermilk crispy chicken panuozzo sandwich with Japanese kewpie mayo.

My order came in record time and I devoured it cause I was super hungry. And also, cause it tasted so, so good! It came with a side of sweet potato crisps and a dip. Eating the sandwich and the crisps in the dip together was a food combo I never knew my taste buds needed. 🤤

Had it with a cold glass of Dubai Chocolate Latte topped with pistachio cream, which went down preeeetty nicely.

Shout out to Joshua, my server, for giving me such a great customer service experience. He deserved a tip (and a raise too).

Fun fact: Panu is owned by two twin sisters called Taiwo and Kehinde Smith. They own 4 other restaurants in Lagos - Cafeteria, Maple, The Smiths and Forno, and I've been to all of them. Every single dish I had in every restaurant was a hit. 

Last year, I celebrated my birthday with dinner at The Smiths, so it was a no-brainer to have this year's birthday brunch at their newest spot. And once again, a hittttt. 👌🏽

2:00pm - 4:00pm

Tattoo @ Tattoos by Ena 🫟

Annual ritual.

I got a colored clematis tattoo on my thigh - my 20th and biggest one yet, much to the joy of my tattoo artist, Ena.

I was running late for my solo movie date, so he wasn't able to complete it. Nevertheless, it already looks exquisite. 

Ena is the Ink god indeed.

I'll be back to the studio in two weeks to finish it up, and he'll also throw in two free mini tats as my birthday gift. #22 😁 

Incase you're wondering what the deal is with the clematis, here's your answer:

If this doesn't represent my intellectual personality, than I don't know what does. Coupled with the fact that I have an affinity for purple, it was the perfect tattoo choice.   

Can't wait to see the finished work of the Ink god's magnificent hands! 

4:30pm - 7:30pm

Odyssey @ Filmhouse IMAX 🎬

My sister and nephew put me on to Epic: The Musical, a nine-part concept album created, written, and produced by Jorge Rivera-Herrans. 

I watched the first part, and the rest, as they say, is history. 

Fast forward to a few weeks after, and I hear that a movie adaptation was going to be released with a stellar cast - the excitement! I had also seen the 1997 miniseries back when I was in secondary school and it was a great watch, so I knew this was going to be even better. 

I remember checking the release date earlier in the year and how stoked I was that it was scheduled for July. I made a mental note that there was absolutely no other movie I was going to watch on my birthday. 

Went ahead to pre-book my ticket online cause I didn't want to hear stories that touch 

The Infiltration of Troy scene was heavy with palpable suspense. The score had me at the edge of my seat. 

The Circe scene? Mad intense, with a message way deeper than the script's surface. 

And may I say, Robert Pattinson absolutely owns villain roles. Watching him play Antinous constantly reminded me of his role as The Dauphin in The King. I love it when actors have range (cue Meryl Streep, my absolute fave).

Anyhu, no more spoilers. 

In summary, if you haven't seen it yet and you love epic movies, then you're in for a treat.

Honorary Food Mentions:

Chia Pudding 🌾

I'd always been curious about what chia pudding tastes like. Luckily for me, Panu serves a range of chia pudding flavours in grab and go bowls. I ordered the mango & coconut flavour cause I love mango. Coconut, not so much, but I bet they'd pair nicely together.

I left it to chill overnight and finally had it a few minutes ago. It borderline tasted like a refreshing, fruit-sweetened oatmeal. The mango gave it that zing, while the coconut added the perfect crunch. Not bad for a first experience.

Haagen Dazs 🍨

My elder brother, asked me what treat I wanted for my birthday, and I screamed, "ICE CWEAAAAM!" 😁

Last born perks. Tee-hee! 🤭

Apple Turnover 🥧

One of the cons of being a foodie is that I always find myself craving certain foods that are not easy to come by in Lagos, apple pie being one of such foods. 

A few weeks ago, I believe that the Lord led me to find Bodega Emporium on Instagram, cause for the life of me, I never even knew they existed. I had a look at their menu, and there it was - apple turnover, the flaky pastry cousin of apple pie. 

You're damn right, I ordered it! 

My sweet tooth cravings are coming soon (no thanks to the Red Mist), so I shall keep it till then and pair it with some Haagen Dazs caramel, lotus biscuit and cream ice cream. Ouuu I can't wait! 😋

Pizza 🍕

Every year, my mum (aka my flatmate) cooks a special meal for my birthday, but I told her not to bother this year, seeing as I was going to be out the entire day. 

She loves pizza, so I ordered the Hot Jambalaya pizza for dinner from Pizza Garden located in Ebony Life Place, and picked it up on my way back home. 

It had shredded beef, chicken, sautéed prawns, onions, garlic, and mushrooms. 

Ate my share and washed it down with a cold bottle of RC Q apple drink right before I passed out - thanks to Lil' Missy 💗 #iykyk

And here’s to a blissful birthday well spent.

Until next year, toodles! 👋🏽

Tufiakwa

For those who don't know, I used to co-host a podcast called "Let's Controverse" for about a year with a friend, but we pulled the plug after she relocated to the United Kingdom. 

Prior to that, I had stumbled on a BBC podcast competition where people from around the world could pitch their idea for a podcast that would run on the BBC Audio platform. This was back in January 2021, long before the days of ChatGPT. 

Of course, I sent mine in, but sadly, it didn't get selected. At least I tried, yeah? 

A few days ago, I found out that I still have my pitch in my phone notepad and I thought, "Why don't I post this on my blog?"

So here you go. Lemme know your thoughts. 

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For as long as our forefathers existed, there has been a constant struggle with embracing who we are, what we stand for and believe in, and making some personal choices. One major reason is the fact that some certain rules otherwise termed as "taboo", have been set in place based on what society, culture, and religion have tagged as unacceptable behaviour, choices, or beliefs.

This has stifled several persons from opening up and adopting some certain decisions that they consider the best for them due to the fear of being reprimanded, punished, or worst of all, ostracized by not just society, but their family, friends, and loved ones. 

The title of the podcast, "Tufiakwa" or "Tufia" for short, means "God forbid" in my mother tongue, Igbo, which is the prevalent language in the Eastern part of Nigeria. Growing up, hearing an elderly person utter that word was a resonance that someone had done something utterly despicable and won't go unpunished. It could be as "little" as standing up for your decision to marry someone who wasn't from the same tribe as you. 

But although the gods have decided to let intertribal marriages slide, other taboos are still frowned upon, even by the modern society. 

The aim of this platform will be to provide a safe space for Africans of the male and female gender, to freely talk about their experiences with adopting certain forbidden practices, the journey of accepting themselves and being accepted by others, and how they have, or have not been able to find their own circle and fit in. 

In doing so, it can give those who are yet to find their voices a chance to speak up, which will hopefully lead to a ripple effect and encourage others in the long run as well. 

Even though millennials are becoming more open-minded about understanding and embracing certain "unorthodox" practices, several communities as a whole still struggle with accepting the fact that most taboos do not necessarily define the persons who adopt them. These decisions simply describe a choice that they have made, a fact that they have accepted or sometimes, a situation that they were born into.  

The end game is not to insist that those who do not agree with these seemingly unorthodox practices must do so, but for them to listen in, connect with those who share their experiences, and for both parties to agree to disagree - respectfully.

The #rePlay Series: ePisode 12

This sooong. 

I don't remember when or where I heard it for the first time, but I do remember how it got me hooked. So hooked that it was on replay for days on end. And even now whenever it comes to mind and I play it, listening to it once doesn't cut it.  

What really struck me was the meaning of the title and the chorus. Here, lemme show you: 

Pretty cool, huh? 

Funny how I remembered this track at this point in my life where it seems to be a season of figuring out my relationships and compartmentalizing them accordingly. It's been an interesting experience so far. Interesting AND liberating, if I must add. 

Anyhu, hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I do. So here ya go! 

"AM Gold" by Train

The Villain in Someone's Story

Yet again, it's been ages since I put "pen to paper" - partly because of adulting and mostly because of sheer laziness and lack of inspiration, if I'm being honest.

As for the adulting part, I'm just going to come clean and be open about it - I went through a break up pretty recently. Let's just say December 2024 wasn't a "jolly season" for me. Although there were significant issues in our relationship, us parting ways was due to my own mistake, and I have accepted that the best I can do for myself going forward (and for my future partner) is to learn from it and do better by God's grace. Also, and equally importantly, to never compromise on the things that matter to me just to "keep the peace" while slowly losing myself in the process.

No thanks to the depressing economy coupled with the fact that everything around me kept reminding me of my ex, I took some much needed time away from Nigeria (2 months to be exact) to clear my head. I am so grateful to my sister-in-law and my brother who came up with this suggestion and sorted out my logistics and entire stay while in Canada where they reside. I needed to be in a different city, experience something I never had (cue in winter) and just be in a bubble that gave me the space I needed to heal - and that destination fit the bill. 

During this time, I had the apartment to myself several hours a day every week (on days when they went to work and my niece was in daycare), and I used the time to reflect on the decisions I made while in the relationship. Don't get me wrong, we had some really amazing times together, but more often than not, the bad times and then the ugly times that led to the break up overshadowed the good times. I have come to realize that we weren't as compatible as we thought (or hoped) we were, and we stayed together for longer than we should've, even when we had several opportunities to end the relationship sooner. My experience gave me a whole new understanding of the saying, "Just because two people are good doesn’t mean they’re good for each other."

To be honest, I have questioned whether I truly did care for him, and as hard on myself that I was about it, (still am, sometimes) I'm very certain that I genuinely loved him. But even if I had proved that to him when he needed it the most, we still weren't a right fit regardless. Atleast not now, and maybe not ever. 

It's been roughly 5 months since we broke things off and I'm still working through my emotions and such. I'd never experienced a "bad" break up before, so this one really got to me. But I've been through worse, mentally and emotionally, and I keep reminding myself how God pulled me out of the rot, not once, not twice. Maybe thrice-ish. Lol. So I'm positive that I'll get through this one soon enough, and hopefully one day I'll look back and fully embrace it as a blessing in disguise.

For now, I'm just focused on growing professionally (I've signed up for some certification courses), mentally (I have embarked on a "12 books in 12 months" mission - 3 down, 9 to go!) and physically (I've decided to switch up my workout routine to cross fit because I need that extra push. Plus, my thighs and midsection were "pleasantly" affected by the daily three course meals and junk I was pumped with during my time away. Might as well put them to good use, no?)

Okay, I think I've shared way more than I thought I would. Anyone who knows me knows how private I am, so this is somewhat unusual for me. But I don't mind - it feels nice dropping some of the weight on here. 

Sending big bear hugs to my mum, siblings, and a few close friends who were and are always there for me - who made the whole ordeal a little less heavier to bear. I absolutely love you guys! 

Anyway, here's to happier blog posts ahead - fingers crossed! 🤞🏽

I F U N A N Y A

My name is IFUNANYA and It means LOVE in the Igbo language. But how can I reflect the meaning of my name if I don't first love who I am?

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine randomly asked me what I love about myself. To my surprise, I started listing things without having to think about them. At some point, she jokingly had to tell me to stop cause I kept going on and on.

That little exercise made me feel really good about myself and thus, inspired me to write this blog post. So here I am listing all the things (and more) that I absolutely love and admire about Ifunanya. 

1. She's Independent - I've always had the mindset of sorting myself out without expecting help from anybody else - especially when it comes to my finances. There are so many milestones in my life that I achieved through my own strengths, skills, personal resources and ultimately, God's grace. 

I recently realized that I don't give myself enough credit for even my "small" accomplishments, but that's going to change from here on out.

2. She's Empathetic - I can't count how many times people, including those who I barely even know, feel safe enough to share their deepest emotions with me without fear of judgement. "Sensitive Sally" - that's what my friends call me sometimes. The nickname was culled from the fact that I can be overly emotional, but I guess that also helps me relate with the feelings of others - proof that what could be a "curse" can also serve as a gift. 

3. She's a Good Listener - I'll say this is undoubtedly one of my many super powers. Asides from the fact that I'm not much of a talker, listening to others vent or talk about their own experiences allows them feel heard, which to be honest, gives me a sense of fulfilment knowing I have made someone feel better just because I gave them a listening ear.

4. Her Physique - My height. My shape. My legs. I meaaan, have you seen me? 

5. Her Elegance - Not to brag but this just comes naturally. I don't even have to try so hard. Now who wouldn't love that about themselves?

6. Her Confidence - I'm articulate and outspoken. I can step into a room full of people with my head held high. 

Big ups to my mum for instilling this trait in me. Indeed, lioness no fit born goat. 

7. Her Intelligence - I had straight A's in my JSCE, graduated from secondary school as the Library Prefect, and was a top student in my class from primary school to university. But book smart aside, my intelligence often showcases itself in my work, perspectives, and conversations. 

Double score.

8. She's Attractive - A few months ago, I watched an interview of Tina Turner (RIP) that made me truly understand the essence of being attractive. I notice how much my aura attracts not just anybody, but a certain calibre of like-minded people with a positive energy.

Beautiful AND attractive? Well, damn. 

9. She's Creative - I'm a content creator. I draw. I paint. I write poems. I sing. I blog. Need I say more? 

Speaking of singing, here's a feature I did on a friend's track. Nothing professional - just for the fun of it. 

10. She's Adventurous - I'm always down to try new things, solo travel to new places and embrace new opportunities. It's the adrenaline rush for me!

11. Her Facial Features - I was insecure about my nose for the looongest time. I even thought about getting a rhinoplasty done (pssssh!) or giving dermal fillers a try. But then I thought, why fix something that's not broken? 

Now, I've learnt to embrace all my features - the flat nose, the wide lips, the big forehead - because they are the perfect representation of my unique and authentic self. 

12. She's Resilient - I pride myself in being a finisher - once I start something, I must see it to the very end. It could be as little as a workout routine or as big as a work project - there's no stopping me when my foot is on the pedal. 

13. She's Resourceful - Having trouble fleshing out an idea? In search of a list of vendors for a particular product? Finding it hard to draft a report? Need help with planning an event? I'm your girl.

14. Her Sense of Humour - I might not be the funniest person you've ever met, but my weird ass sense of humour cracks me the hell up - anyone else who gets it, gets it. 

PS: People who can relate have a special place in my heart. 

15. She's a Conversationalist - I can talk about any and everything with just about anyone and not get lost in the conversation. Research is key - thank you, Google.  

16. Her Music Taste - A blend of every genre from every timeline. One of the many reasons why I get giddy with excitement whenever my playlist is on shuffle.

17. She's Unconventional - My preferences are somewhat not within the usual norm. Odd things often interest me. They say weird is the new cool, am I right? 

18. She's an Introvert - Whenever my friends call me a homebody and jokingly say I'm "anti-social", I lowkey love the fact that they know that about me. I would say that coming home to my bed, listening to music or watching a movie alone while eating a snack is easily my most favourite part of the day. Enjoying your own company is top tier. 

19. Her Voice - I don't know if anyone is as obsessed about their voice as much as I am. Sometimes I replay my voice notes and just swoon to the sound of it. Don't judge me. 

20. Her Smile - 3,000 watt. It also helps that I have a pretty nice set of teeth - gap, to be precise. 

21. She's Genuine - If there's one thing about me, it's that I would never stress to impress. What you see, is what you get. 

21 points? Way to go, Ifunanya! Way to go!

Now here's to you reading this - I hope it makes you realize all the seemingly little wonderful things about you that you often take for granted. 

Cause you, my darling, are AH-MAZING. Never forget that. 

xxx

Ifunanya 

Uno, Two, Trois

Even though it was a necessity that I travelled to the USA before my visa expires later this year, it was also a much needed time away from the "Elu P" and "Balablu" madness in Nigeria due to the just concluded presidential election at the time.

Surprisingly, I didn't have a list of preplanned activities lined up, which is my usual M.O cause I love "maximizing" every single day while I'm on vacation. I however decided that this time, I'd make a conscious effort to just REST. 

Waking up almost everyday to only shower, order food via Door Dash or Uber Eats, binge shows and movies (with superfast unlimited WiFi of course), and then go back to sleep was the definition of "vacation" I didn't know I needed. I literally didn't leave the apartment until my friend got back from Dallas (I stayed at her place in San Francisco) a few days after I arrived and dragged my butt off the bed.

So this write up isn't about all the ways I stuffed myself with food (sadly) or the exciting activities I engaged in.

This post will focus on, wait for it - the opposite sex. 

Didn't see that coming, did you? Well, neither did I.

The Italian

Out of boredom (and following bad advice from one of my friends - you know yourself), I signed up on Bumble a few days after I arrived in San Francisco, and swiped right on a couple of men folk.

I was matched with an Italian-American and we had a brief chat and then a voice call.

We eventually switched to video call and may I say he looked waaaay cuter then he did in pictures. It didn't help that he kept throwing in a few Italian sentences here and there during our conversation. If you know me, you know I'm a sucker for Italian and Spanish.

Fast forward to two hours or so later, that spark ended as quickly as it started, so did my Bumble account, but it was fun while it lasted. No need starting what we can't finish, biko.

The Black American

Now this dude and I "met" in an unusual way - I was a FedEx customer and he was attending to me as the Store Manager. But the way we immediately hit it off? It was like we had known each other for months. 

We literally talked about every and anything in the space of 30 minutes - from work, to ancestry (he's got a Nigerian bloodline apparently), to relationships, to politics - and the vibe was pretty...interesting. 

My friend couldn't help but ask if he was single and she immediately took on the role of cupid - not like I was complaining.

Long story short, we exchanged contacts and yeah, that was it. Don't hold your breath for any updates though cause you'd most likely be disappointed. Just saying. 

Side note: I met a white American too. He came over to my friend's apartment to visit her landlord and I couldn't ignore the fact that he kept staring at me like I was some work of art (I mean I am, but still) He finally broke the silence by complimenting my hair and then we got talking. A few minutes into our conversation, he held my hand and asked me to be his girlfriend. I jokingly accepted cause he's obviously a joker. 

Anyway, I was in a relationship with him for about an hour - probably the shortest relationship in the history of relationships. 

The French 

I was at the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train station racking my brain on how to buy a Clipper card because the vending machine kept failing. Luckily, (because misery needs company) I spotted a French man going through the same challenge. So we teamed up and voilà! We figured it out eventually.

He happened to be in San Francisco on a business trip and was leaving the next day. So he offered to take me out for dinner that night.

As the foodie that I am, I couldn't pass on free food now, could I? Even though I was lowkey praying to God as he picked me up from the apartment that he wasn't a serial killer that would drive me to my doom. I've watched way too many movies and documentaries to not be paranoid. 

Thank God cause as you must've figured, I'm still alive typing this blog post, plus dinner was exquisite! Let me not even get started on the mouthwatering tiramisu I had for dessert. Foodgasm! 

And for once, I actually ordered a glass of wine with my dish. Bougie, I know. (Fun fact: The slang "bougie" was coined from the French word "bourgeois", a term that originally refers to a member of the middle/upper-middle class in France) 

Oh well, too bad he's not my type. Who knows where that night would've taken me. Paris, perhaps. 

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Incase you're wondering, I'm sha back in Lagos and I'm still single. But these encounters reminded me of how there are so many opportunities to be open-minded, dip your hands into uncharted waters, meet someone completely new and willingly invite them into your space, even if it's for a little while.

I guess it's taking me much longer than usual because from experience, I've realized how much I thrive in my own company, which makes it easier for me to soak up the fact that being "alone" doesn't mean that I am "lonely". 

It's not like I don't love being around people, or better still, cuddling. But I absolutely love my own space and time - perhaps a bit too much. 

Maybe (or certainly), there's some deep rooted reason behind why I am the way I am, which I  should make a conscious effort to dig into. But like everyone else, this somewhat-cynical-self-sabotaging-romantic is still a work in progress. 

So have a little faith in me, will ya?

The More You Know...

One thing about me is that I am not afraid to ask questions.

When I'm not sure about something someone said, I ask them to repeat themselves. 

If I can't seem to find my way to a certain location, I don't hesitate to ask someone on the road for directions (especially when Google Maps is acting a fool)

If I need more information on a situation, I ask whoever is involved to explain further. 

I've been told I'm like a dog with a bone, and I couldn't agree more. That's because I believe that asking several questions doesn't necessarily mean you're incessant and certainly doesn't mean you're stupid - in most cases.  

Quite contrary, the more you ask, the more you know. And the more you know, the wiser you become. 

However, the one aspect that I had to learn the hard way not to always ask questions is when it comes to closure. I've gotten burnt a couple of times just because I wanted to understand why someone did something that hurt me. And more than half of the time, I didn't get the answers I wanted or thought I needed. 

Some years ago, a friend of mine told me that she didn't believe in closure, and she still doesn't. According to her, not everyone needs to know why their relationship has ended - whether it's romantic or platonic. Sometimes, just allowing the relationship fizzle out and letting go without a one-on-one conversation about the "what, why or who" is the best option for both parties. At the time, it may seem like only one party is benefiting from this, but in the long run, the other party would too.

It took me a while to agree with her opinion, seeing as I've always been big on communication irrespective of how uncomfortable the case might be. But as the years went by and following more discussions with her and my own personal experiences, I realized that she's kinda sorta right. 

The ironic thing about "closure" is that most times it "opens" up new wounds. What if the reason the person isn't your friend or significant other anymore hurts more than the fact that the person just isn't? 

Ask yourself if you would be able to handle that. If you can, then why not? Give it a shot. 

I, on the other hand have learnt to balance when to and when not to bother about getting closure. Some people and cases are worth the emotional and mental courage. But others? Not so much. 

Because sometimes, you don't get closure. You just move on. And honestly, I'd rather stick with the latter. 

Wouldn't you too?