One thing about me is that I am not afraid to ask questions.
When I'm not sure about something someone said, I ask them to repeat themselves.
If I can't seem to find my way to a certain location, I don't hesitate to ask someone on the road for directions (especially when Google Maps is acting a fool)
If I need more information on a situation, I ask whoever is involved to explain further.
I've been told I'm like a dog with a bone, and I couldn't agree more. That's because I believe that asking several questions doesn't necessarily mean you're incessant and certainly doesn't mean you're stupid - in most cases.
Quite contrary, the more you ask, the more you know. And the more you know, the wiser you become.
However, the one aspect that I had to learn the hard way not to always ask questions is when it comes to closure. I've gotten burnt a couple of times just because I wanted to understand why someone did something that hurt me. And more than half of the time, I didn't get the answers I wanted or thought I needed.
Some years ago, a friend of mine told me that she didn't believe in closure, and she still doesn't. According to her, not everyone needs to know why their relationship has ended - whether it's romantic or platonic. Sometimes, just allowing the relationship fizzle out and letting go without a one-on-one conversation about the "what, why or who" is the best option for both parties. At the time, it may seem like only one party is benefiting from this, but in the long run, the other party would too.
It took me a while to agree with her opinion, seeing as I've always been big on communication irrespective of how uncomfortable the case might be. But as the years went by and following more discussions with her and my own personal experiences, I realized that she's kinda sorta right.
The ironic thing about "closure" is that most times it "opens" up new wounds. What if the reason the person isn't your friend or significant other anymore hurts more than the fact that the person just isn't?
Ask yourself if you would be able to handle that. If you can, then why not? Give it a shot.
I, on the other hand have learnt to balance when to and when not to bother about getting closure. Some people and cases are worth the emotional and mental courage. But others? Not so much.
Because sometimes, you don't get closure. You just move on. And honestly, I'd rather stick with the latter.
Wouldn't you too?
